Single Malts and Television: Sixteen Men of Tain starring on Two and a Half Men

Men, Men, Men, Men, Men, Manly Men, Men........

So says the theme song of the show called "Two and a Half Men", where producers Chuck Lorre and Lee Ahronson have combined Pretty in Pink's Molly Ringwald's unrequitted wanna be lover John Cryer, and Vietnam volunteer Ganja-Smoking Platoon warrior Charlie Sheen, as an odd-couple brother setup, whose lives girate around women and the endless wish to be with most of them.

In the show, Charlie Sheen is a successful TV Jingle writer, and a hedonistic womanizer who continually gets into one night stands while sporting major cases of drunkenness, and who manages to misteriously wake up with little impact the day after. Mind you, with little impact from both the multiple gorgeous women and from his liquid diet.

Women do not last, or hurt, in Charlie's life because of his mother issues. But who cares, he still lives the dream of the perpetual, and successful, bachelor....and he still gets drunk, really drunk with little hepatic hurtin'.

Perhaps his TV hangovers are not usually severe, due to the fact that Charlie mostly gets his liquid kicks from a wide array of Single Malts. Beer is everpresent and even an ocassional commercial multi grain whisky is about but Single Malt, kind as it is in the aftermath, is the drink of choice. No brands of Single Malts are fully shown, perhaps on account of US copyright and prime time TV laws, but to the watchful eye of collectors, there are sure confirmations of the recurrent presence of Single Malts in the show. We are able to recognize the shape of the bottles, and we are shown brief views of their labels in the distance or from such angles that only a glimmer is possible.

In one rerun which I saw today, Charlie was hoping to die, be killed, or at least drown the professional frustration of having been nominated for a prize to his jingle writing on seven different ocasions without ever winning. Charlie was feeling very much like the germans do after every final at the world football championship. But the Germans have Beer and Jaggermeister or Schnapps. Charlie has Single Malt, and so do I.

The invited Single Malt at the end of this particular episode was A Glenmorangie "Cellar 13" from The distillery that goes by the same name in Coy, Tain, Ross-Shire, Scotland IV19 1PZ (just in case you wish to write to them and give some work to the still quite reliant British Royal Mail).

Glenmorangie Cellar 13 is a Single Malt from a first fill cask from a Single Cellar, and according to the writing in its bottle and beautiful presentation box, it is "crafted from spirit matured for ten long years in first fill casks and has been selected specially from our 'Cellar 13' a low stone built and earthen flored warehouse on the shores of the Dornoch Firth...These casks accenturate the wonderful vanilla, butterscotch and honey notes of this exquisite Glenmorangie Malt". No reference is made in the bottle as far as age, date of distilling or of bottling, cask or hogshead number.

No caramel seems to have been added to this Single Malt, for its pale colouring of 14karat gold hues is much the likes of fine 'Reposado' tequilas. The bottle in the picture above is NOT empty. In fact it is a third full, but the color of this Single Malt is so light, that at full noon it shows only as golden hue. The Colour of Cellar 13 pales in comparison to that of other Glenmorangies, such as the Madeira Wood Finish one, which has a second fill maturation, and whose colour is described as that "of bright amber with a slight orange hue". Nevertheless, Given the color we can see in the picture above, it is obvious that some unknowning prop master from Two and a Half Men, decided to fill a possibly empty bottle with a liquid that amounted to this prop master's idea of a colour akin to whisky, probably using tea as substitute, since the contents of the bottle in the show were too dark and caramel-like to be a Cellar 13.

So, upon recognizing the bottle of the guest Single Malt in Two and a Half Men, I went to my 'Cuvee' and took my Glenmorangies out, because, Yes, I had at hand a Cellar 13 and a Madeira Wood Finish one. I must say that I agree with the taste notes of the Cellar 13, since I tasted it while I wrote this entry in the blog.

In respect to my opinion, what else could I do but agree with the taste notes and go along with the writing in the wall, or in the box in this case?. After all, the Tasting Notes have been written by the crafty and very handy Sixteen Men of Tain of whom Glenmorangie Distillery continually and rightfully boasts about...Allan Holdsworth Trio - The Sixten Men Of Tain - Warsaw 1998

And that is how Sixteen Men of Tain starred on Two and a half Men.

So Remember whenever you see Two and a Half Men, try to spot the guest Single Malt if the episode calls for its consumption. Hopefully you'll have no trouble recognizing it, since to the Single Malt fan, seeing Single Malts from afar is the equivalent of a pilot recognizing a city while flying over it, onlly by observing its skyline against the horizon.


For referential purposes, here are the Tasting Notes of the Cellar 13, and a video of the 5 steps to enjoying a tasting of Single Malt, straight from the Phd Master Distiller from Glenmorangie itself, courtesy of theimbiber.net:

Nose:
Intense creaminess with top notes of vanilla, toffee, and fudge, quickly followed by the sweetness of honey. With water, ag entle spiciness opnes up to reveal hints of cloves and cinammon, with the fragrance of the zest of orange peel and delicacy of lemon. A gentle whisper of wood-smoke completes a wonderfully complex nose.

Taste:
The immediate sweet flavour in the first contact envelopes the tongue and fulfills the expectation created by the nose. The taste of vanilla and fudge quickly develops to a fresh spiciness, lightly toasted with shades of dried fruits. The pleasing memory of bumbugs ghosts over the palate.

Finish:
The finish is more dry than sweet, with the presence of almonds, and vanilla lingering for some time.

Dr. Bill Mundsen, Master Distiller at Glenmorangie demonstrating 5 steps to discovering what is hidden in a Single Malt.

The only drawback of Glenmorangie, is in its official internet site. It seems to be very slow, although there is the possibility tht the net is slow as it usually gets in the Caribbean during storms, and we are in Hurricane season.

Cheers,